It appears that my previous post, No Tears in Heaven, has led to some confusion that the editorial staff here at Sgt Hook feels must be cleared up ASAP. As pointed out in the comments section of said post…

I read the New York Times every day, and I have never seen the name “Devlin Thomas.”

If you are going to write fiction, make sure you identify it as such.

For the record, I am not aware of a reporter named Devlin Thomas who writes for the New York Times, or any other newspaper for that matter. Nor do I know of a First Sergeant McNeely, Captain Williams, Sergeant Washingtion, Private First Class Velleux, and Corporal Sanchez serving in the armed forces of the United States.

Any similarities of these characters to real persons is purely coincidental just as is my description of heaven and the arrival terminal outside of the pearly gates. I assure you, I’ve not been to heaven and am not privy to any actual conversations that have taken place therein.

Just so there’s no further confusion, the aforementioned post is indeed a product of my imagination and should be considered fiction.

I sincerely hope that clears things up. Sgt Hook out.

Posted by Hook @ 2357 zulu | Comments & Trackbacks (17) | Permalink
This post is filed under: Now That's Funny

Saw this over at Sgt Lori’s and had to share.

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.

Kathy said, “My father’s a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the pickup when we hit a bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess.”

“And what’s the moral of the story?” asked the teacher.

“Don’t put all your eggs in one basket!”

“Very good,” said the teacher. “Now, Lucy?”

“Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks. And the moral to this story is, don’t count your chickens until they’re hatched.”

“That was a fine story Lucy. Johnny do you have a story to share?”

“Yes, ma’am, my daddy told me this story about my uncle Bob. Uncle Bob was a Green Beret in Vietnam and his helicopter got hit. He had to crash land in enemy territory and all he had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete. He drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn’t break and then he landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. He killed seventy of them with the machine gun until he ran out of bullets, then he killed twenty more with the machete till the blade broke and then he killed the last ten with his bare hands.”

“Good heavens,” said the horrified teacher, “What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?”

“Don’t mess with Uncle Bob when he’s been drinking.”

A good laugh once in awhile is always healthy. Sgt Hook out.

Posted by Hook @ 0144 zulu | Comments & Trackbacks (3) | Permalink
This post is filed under: Now That's Funny

Thanks to Echo9er I’ve solved my Blackberry v. Treo dilemma.

Not only is the technology easily understood, this should fit nicely within my budget. Sgt Hook out.

Posted by Hook @ 1815 zulu | Comments & Trackbacks (7) | Permalink
This post is filed under: Now That's Funny

Looks like we can expect more indictments from the special prosecutor in the CIA leak case.

“My daddy’s famous, my mommy’s a secret spy,” declared the 5-year-old of his parents, former diplomat Joe Wilson and retired CIA operative Valerie Plame.

Move over Scooter. Sgt Hook out.

Hotel Tango SondraK.

Posted by Hook @ 0047 zulu | Comments & Trackbacks (4) | Permalink
This post is filed under: Now That's Funny

Found this over at Better Living Thru Blogging. Seems the holidays are fraught with mental illnesses.

Schizophrenia — Do You Hear What I Hear?
Dementia — I Think I’ll Be Home for Christmas?
Narcissistic — Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me.
Manic — Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Trees and Fire Hydrants and……
Paranoid — Santa Claus is Coming to Get me!
Aggressive Personality Disorder — Your Nuts Roasting on an Open Fire.
Personality Disorder — You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll Tell You Why?
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder —Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells…

Fa la la la la, la la la la. Sgt Hook out.

Posted by Hook @ 0925 zulu | Comments & Trackbacks (4) | Permalink
This post is filed under: La Vita Dolce & Now That's Funny

I never understood why anyone would want to jump out of a perfectly good aircraft. B5? Sgt Hook out.

Posted by Hook @ 0019 zulu | Comments & Trackbacks (2) | Permalink
This post is filed under: Know thy Enemy & Now That's Funny

One of my ALL-TIME favorite bloggers, Jim at the Parkway Rest Stop has somehow managed to get exclusive and almost unrestricted access to the Clintons. He keeps this up, we’ll have to start calling him “Scoop.”

Dinner
Ask Hillary 1
Ask Hillary 2

You’ll regret not reading them. Sgt Hook out.

Posted by Hook @ 1928 zulu | Comments & Trackbacks (2) | Permalink
This post is filed under: Now That's Funny

This is farookin funny. Really. Sgt Hook out.

Posted by Hook @ 2356 zulu | Comments & Trackbacks (1) | Permalink
This post is filed under: Now That's Funny

Soldiers and Dogs. Sgt Hook out.

Posted by Hook @ 1349 zulu | Comments & Trackbacks (6) | Permalink
This post is filed under: Now That's Funny

OFF CAMERA

Apparently the outgoing Secretary of HHS had a lot more to say after the camera’s stopped rolling at his “I’m quitting” press conference.

-He was surprised his house had not been broken into since he keeps a spare key in the flower pot by the door and the house is generally empty from early in the morning till late at night. Also, his security system hasn’t worked for months.

He couldn’t believe that no one had ever stolen any money from his checking or savings accounts since the PIN numbers for both are 1234.

The door to HHS headquarters can be opened even after it’s locked if you jiggle the handle and pull up while you push.

The “undisclosed location” that Dick Cheney is relocated to during emergencies is room 432 in the HHS headquarters building.

He’s really relieved that no one ever tries to take the briefcase full of highly sensitive government documents he carries when he travels, because he has a tendency to ignore it while placing phone calls in the airport and checking into hotels.

Via Dean. Sgt Hook out.

Posted by Hook @ 2040 zulu | Comments & Trackbacks (5) | Permalink
This post is filed under: Now That's Funny