21 October 2007

In the months leading up to my deployment, discussions at home with my merry band of pirates occassionally covered dad leaving and for how long and why. They were usually pretty short talks with only a couple of questions to be answered and not a lot of debate.

On the eve of my departure I broached the subject of my leaving with my swashbucklers as they were feasting on that evening’s bounty. The ever philosphic 9-year old Andrew the Adventurous set down his drumstick and matter of factly asked, “What abour your retirement?”

D: What about my retirement?

AA: Yeah, what about your retirement dad?

D: Do you want me to retire?

AA: Don’t you think it is time? Yes.

D: blink, blink, blink

AA: When are you going to retire?

D: I don’t know exactly, there is a lot to consider son. I have to provide for you and your brothers and mom and…

AA: Right.

He picked up his drumstick and resumed eating. The discussion was apparently over.

The following morning I drove the boys to school, saying my goodbyes to each corsair as I dropped them off. When Castaway Conner and Anderw the Adventurous hopped out of the truck and started walking to the front door of their school, backpacks bouncing on their shoulders, I said, “Hey! I won’t be here when you get home from school.”

Castaway Conner stopped, turned and ran into my arms giving me a huge hug and sloppy kiss and off he went to school.

Andrew the Adventurous cinched up his backpack, looked sideways at me as he kept walking and said, “I know dad, I’m disappointed. I’m very disappointed.”

Not your traditional “good bye” but heartfelt nonetheless. Sgt Hook out.


Posted by Hook @ 1153 zulu | | Permalink
This post is filed under: Homefront & My Swashbucklers



16 Comments »
  1. There aren’t many things more difficult than Good Byes, and I guess everyone has to handle them in their own way.

    Comment by Jim - PRS — 21 October 2007 @ 1300


  2. Sorry, I just have to say - Bless your hearts! All of you.

    Comment by MissBirdlegs in AL — 21 October 2007 @ 1347


  3. Kids - gotta love ‘em.

    You do realize that this is when a mom would say “just wait until you have children of your own and you have to support them”… the eyes roll. He is growing up though isn’t he. (it will be at least 10 more years before he will finally figure out that it’s okay if he’s proud of you- hang in there dad!)

    Comment by Teresa — 21 October 2007 @ 1533


  4. I know exactly how he feels. I know exactly how you feel about it.

    ’nuff said.

    Comment by Michelle Spicer — 22 October 2007 @ 0726


  5. Poor kid. He definitely wants you home. Must have been very difficult for you.

    Comment by Cheryl — 22 October 2007 @ 1356


  6. ughhh…

    I could picture that very easily here. Those moments are hard to take as a parent.

    thanks for sharing such a poignant moment

    Comment by AWTM — 22 October 2007 @ 1652


  7. Ah, I see that the military parents are all feeling guilty. Would it help you at all if I tell you that I’ve seen kids do this to parents who have what you might consider “normal” jobs? In other words, parents who travel frequently because they are in sales - mothers who work full time to help support the family - parents with jobs that aren’t typically 9-5…

    You, as military parents, are adding extra guilt onto yourselves for having a dangerous job… That’s not the way kids think. So, take a deep breath - it really is normal for kids to do this to their parents. Deployment is hard enough without adding extra guilt for typical kid behavior. :-)

    Comment by Teresa — 23 October 2007 @ 1450


  8. Kids say the darnedest things. At first I thought he was going to discuss your fiscal retirement plan. :)

    Comment by gypsy — 24 October 2007 @ 0152


  9. … the “thing” is…

    Military-kids aren’t ‘typical’ kids. Military-parents aren’t ‘typical’ parents. Military ‘lifestyle’… NOT typical.

    … come home soon and retire, “Hook”.

    Comment by Michelle Spicer — 24 October 2007 @ 0554


  10. Hook…

    Sorry I’ve been AWOL, but thought this AOR had been completely secured. Didn’t see any action here.

    Glad to notice some activity of friendly sorts.

    I’m proud to have broken bread with you…come home safely! You owe me lunch!

    Best to you and the crew!

    See you on the high ground!

    MajorDad1984

    Comment by MajorDad1984 — 25 October 2007 @ 0354


  11. “Military-kids aren’t ‘typical’ kids. Military-parents aren’t ‘typical’ parents. Military ‘lifestyle’… NOT typical.”

    And thus I am chastised. I beg your pardon.

    Comment by Teresa — 25 October 2007 @ 1711


  12. Not at all, Teresa. Not at all.

    Forgive me if I came off as “chastising”… I was responding with my own feelings about my own circumstances… to those who don’t have any concept (you know, those we are surrounded by every day), not to YOU, personally; not to your comment. I was being “reactionary” - in general.

    Your comment was sweet and well-meaning… it was my own personal state of mind that created my response. Nothing personal. I hope you will forgive me and I apologize for any discomfort I caused you.

    We are all “here”, together. Let’s stick together.

    I am sorry.

    Sincerely.

    Comment by Michelle Spicer — 26 October 2007 @ 0443


  13. Thanks Michelle - easy thing to do. And difficult to make understood in comments… on both sides :-)

    Comment by Teresa — 26 October 2007 @ 1101


  14. Been there many times, usually when it’s time to move and the many TDY’s Greyhawk has been on. I feel for you. Kids always have the best aim when shooting at the heart.

    Our kids are older now so the retirement subject doesn’t come up as often, since they know where their college money comes from ;). They can understand better as to why he volunteered to go downrange (both times), and are proud, but that doesn’t stop them from expressing how unfair military life is and the many disappointments that come with it, 2 deployments, 5 TDY’s, many missed birthdays and holidays, 9 moves and 7 schools later.

    I’m sure when Greyhawk returns home from Iraq and our time at this assignment is up he will finally throw in the towel. It will be bittersweet but time.

    When you decide to retire, Greyhawk and I will raise our glasses to a great career and the military’s loss.

    Comment by Mrs G — 26 October 2007 @ 2035


  15. ouch. AA’s not even my son, yet I felt that blow. He’s old enough to miss you, still not old enough to really understand what’s going on, and old enough to know that if you retire from the Army, you won’t have to deploy anymore. I know he’s proud of you, Hook, he just misses his Dad.

    *hugs*

    Comment by AFSister — 29 October 2007 @ 0113


  16. I was born while my Dad was in ‘nam. He deployed off and on, 6-9 mo intervals until I was probably 12 (no more ‘nam tours after age 2). I remember when he started to deploy again when I was AA’s age. Girls of the more dramatic, I remember throwing myself at him frickin’ BEGGING him not to go, crying. And he would stoically say, “He had to”, afterall, it was his job.

    As a parent now, I look back and really knowing my Dad as a parent/human/real person and not ‘Dad who carried the world and never cringed’, I think how it must’ve crushed him to close that door behind him and walk out to his car. I regret now my actions as he left. I wish I could’ve been more like Castaway Connor.

    As an adult now, when someone leaves my life, I try to be very stoic, and show not what is in my heart. Lessons learned from childhood.

    Comment by Bou — 30 October 2007 @ 0023


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