21 January 2007

The email began with an interesting greeting, Happy New Year My Dear. Though I was taken a bit back, I decided to throw caution to the wind and read on.

Happy New Year my dear,

I know that you will be surprise reading from unknown person but all I will like you to understand is that, God have already bless you and your entire family in this 2007 through this proposal. In a brief introduction, my name is George Michael, 26 years old. My intention of contacting you is to help me handle the investment of 12.6 million usd that I inherited from my late father, which he deposited in the bank before his sudden death. Urgently confirm your willingness to help me handle the investment of this money with honesty, without betraying my trust in you.

I will be waiting for your reply as you finish reading this message with your direct telephone number to enable me call you immediately and furnish you with more details, upon my confirmation of your willingness to assist me.

Best Regards,
George Michael

Wake me up before you Go Go! George Michael was emailing little ‘ol me. And he had some cash!!! After re-reading the letter several times I realized that this George Michael must be a different George Michael than the one I initially thought him to be. I mean, the grammar alone was not that of an accomplished song writer/singer.

After coming to grips with who had written the email, I began to wonder what exactly it was George Michael was asking me to do? Invest his money? I mean, I’m pretty sure that I could invest in a helluva lot of shoes with 12.6 million dollars. I decided it prudent to ask George Michael for some clarification.

My dear friend Michael, it is with great honor and privileges that I bestow my sincerest gratitudes for your solicitation of my assistance. I urgently confirm my willingness to help handle your investments and am trusting that you are not trying to take advantage of my generosity and sincerity and do indeed seek my counsel. I have just one inquiry… what’s in it for me?

Bless yous,
Hook.

Of course George Michael was quick to respond and help clear up any confusion on my part. As it turns out, he was hoping to create opportunities for me and open doors that wouldn’t ordinarily be opened to a mook like myself.

Dear Hook,

Thanks for your immediate reply to my proposal and appreciate your willingness to help me secure this money that I inherited from my late father into a good business field in your country. Dear, to enable us act fast in this transaction, send me your complete names, your full address , direct telephone number and one of your picture to enable me submit it to the bank and introduce you officially to them as my foreign partner whom this money deposited by my late father in their bank will be transfer to his bank account for a joint business investment with you in your country.

I will be looking forward to hear back from you with this requested informations. Dear Hook, I am assuring you that this my inheritance will creat alot of financial doors in your life and entire family, all I request most from you is your honesty and faithfulness.

Best regards,
George

As things were becoming more clear to me, I didn’t hesitate to reply…

George,
I am truly sorry to hear about your loss and pray that your father is in a better place. Again it is with great pleasure that I am willing to facilitate my assistance in your transactionary financial dealings, I only ask just how much financial doors opening are we talking about, if you know what I mean.

Regardless,
Hook.

To wit George Michael responds…

Dear Hook,

Thanks for your reply.

Dear Hook, out of this total 12.6 million usd that I inherited from my late father, I will give you 7% for your humanly assistance. Again, on my arrival to your country after the confirmation of this money in your account, before we put the rest of the money into investment, we will minus 5% for my re-settlement in your country, while the balance of the money remains for the investment which you will be handling on behalf until I becomes familiar with the business line. Also, you will be benefiting from every profit made from the investment, which we will discuss on my arrival.

Dear Hook, I know that you will be happy for this 7% that I have mapped out for you, send me your complete names, your full address , direct telephone number and one of your picture for the official introduction in the bank.

I will be looking forward to hear back from you.

George

An offer like that of course warrants a counter offer…

Michael,
I don’t know who you think you are dealing with here, but I assure you that I did not just fall of the turnip truck. While I appreciate your offer of 7%, we both know who is taking the larger risk here given the banking laws of my country. Having said that, I think we can both come to a mutual agreement of 10% to get the ball rolling, proverbial speaking, until which time that you arrive and we can hammer out future dealings and investments.

I look forward to hearing from you soonest and doing business with you in the future.

Assuredly,
James M. Hook

I think I struck a nerve as George Michael quickly responded asking for my phone number…

Dear Hook,

Thanks for your reply.

What actually are you taking about now concerning the 7%? is it small? Explain to me in details. Moreover, I will like to have your direct telephone so as to talk to you orally on the phone.

I wait for your reply.

George

So I spell it out for him…

My friend George,

My concern, as I am sure is yours, is that in moving such a large amount of money through my bank will not go unnoticed and must be properly explained if authorities should inquire and it seems that I am the one taking most of the risk so yes, I think that 7% might be a little low and think that 10% would help to make taking the risk easier.

Again, I’m very grateful for this opportunity and hope you can understand the situation I may find myself.

James Hook.

A compromise…

Dear Hook,

Thanks for your reply.

I have accepted to give you 10% since it is a percentage that will make you happy. Now, to enable us act fast in getting the money to your account, send me your full name, full residential address and your direct telephone number to enable me submit it to the bank and introduce you officially to them as my foreign partner whom their bank will transfer this money to his account, so that they will open up a direct communication with you for the transfer.

I will be looking forward to hear back from you with the requested informations.

Best regards,
George

My turn to give a little…

My dearest George,

What a great pleasure it is doing business with you and I am in great appreciation for your appreciation for my stature in that I did not just fall of that proverbial turnip truck and I am indeed pleased to accept your offer of 10%. So to further enable a quick transaction allow me to provide the requested information in a timely manner to your banking officials. My full name is James Michael Hook and my full address is #1 East 161 Street, Bronx, NY 10451. My full phone number is (718) 293-4300 (if I’m not there, leave a message and I’ll call you right back…business you understand).

George my friend, I’m a little nervous about your mention of a “foreign partner” in your latest email. I’m in so much as trusting you with this financial transactions, however, now you bring in a third parties and how do I know if I can trust him? I have kept up my end and not brought in another second or third party but am concerned that perhaps I should contact my lawyer? Please provide me with some advice given these drastic changes in circumstances.

As always,
Hook.

Any New York Yankee fans out there? Anyway, I did not hear back from George Michael for several days so I sent a follow up email…

George,
I have not heard from your banking officials nor have I received a check in the mail….what gives my friend?

Hook.

I’m a bit concerned that my dear friend George Michael might have run into some trouble. If anyone has heard from him please send him my regards and let him know that I await his reply. Thanks. Sgt Hook out.


Posted by Hook @ 0324 zulu | | Permalink
This post is filed under: Now That's Funny



7 Comments »
  1. “Regardless”? ROFL!!!

    Comment by MissBirdlegs in AL — 21 January 2007 @ 0408


  2. OMG. You are so funny. Soooooo funny. I think I hurt myself when I fell out of the chair…

    Comment by Pixie — 21 January 2007 @ 0607


  3. Bwahahahaha!…. priceless (pun intended).

    Comment by Jean — 21 January 2007 @ 1300


  4. Oh, “dear”. You are so baaaaad.

    Comment by MaryAnn — 21 January 2007 @ 2102


  5. Hahahahahahahaha! David Sneakers over at ASP loves to deal with these Nigerian Scammers. He’s not done one in awhile, so I was pleasantly surprised to see you messing with the scammers as well. Too funny!

    Comment by Terri — 21 January 2007 @ 2310


  6. Well done! Poor George, I do think he thinks you were born yesterday. Silly little man…

    Comment by gypsy — 22 January 2007 @ 0452


  7. Thank you! This was my first real chuckle in weeks. Unfortunately, I think your Nigerian friend George is now talking high finance to the other George up in the Bronx. I hear they’re looking to build a new stadium & could use some foreign investors w/ lots of green.

    Comment by michele — 23 January 2007 @ 0146


RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a comment




Pin Ups for Vets



Proud Sponsors




Orderly Room


Baghdad

About Hook
Contact Hook



Obligatory Disclaimer


This site is a collection of my writings, thoughts, and ramblings and in no way reflects the official positions of the United States Army or the Department of Defense. OPSEC trumps everything.


Current Ops



Hook Publishing


Jackie O'Shea
Jaffy Chronicles
No Tears in Heaven


Hook Productions


I Dreamed It
The Soldier's Silent Night
Here Comes The Sun
You Raise Me Up
One of Those Great Stories
American Soldier
Would You Know My Name


Rules Of Engagement


Copyright © 2003 - 2008. All original content is copyrighted by Sgt Hook. Limited use of said material is authorized given proper attribution provided. Plagiarism is considered a serious breach around these parts and violators will face a firing squad. Any comments left or emails sent become the property of Sgt Hook and are subject to publishing herein. Writing "Confidential" in the subject line of your email will preclude publication of said email.


Proud Sponsors


Visit these Advertisers

♦ Veterans - Use your VA Benefits to Refinance your home loan with VA Loan Refinancing from VLC.


♦ Allured by a cheap car insurance and other cheap deals. Many tend to overspend on their credit card. This leads them to loans and eventually a debt. If you are planning to work at home, you will have to be careful about all this and more.


Sound Off


Cup and Flower


Fall In


ARMY
COAST GUARD
MARINE CORPS
NAVY
AIR FORCE


NOTAM


In view of a recent tendency to identify characters in fiction with real people, it seems proper to state that there are no real people in this volume: both the characters and their names are ficticious. The names or designations of any military units are ficticious. There are no living people nor existing military units presented in this book. -Ernest Hemingway


Band of Brothers



Prev | List | Random | Next
Join
Powered by RingSurf!

Recent Dispatches


Thanksgiving
Twelfth Night Month, Or What You Will
Checking In
Update
Soldiers’ Angel
Humble Apologies
The Underwater Cable Guy
Tales from the Sandbox
Second only to Combat
Operation Browning
Remember Fallujah?
It Is Safe Here
Cleaning House and Digging In
Mourning Heroes
Terror at Wali Dar


Rank and File



My Ecosystem Details



View My Milblogging.com Profile


Ongoing Ops





Fiddler's Green


Halfway down the road to hell,
In a shady meadow green,
Are the souls of all dead troopers camped
Near a good old-time canteen.
And this eternal resting place
Is known as Fiddler's Green.
-Author Unknown


The Blog of War


"Grab it before the Pentagon orders it burned..." - Vanity Fair

"...nonpartisan patriotism is the common thread tying together these reflections, love letters and stories of combat. They make for riveting reading." - The Washington Post

Winner of the 2006 Gold Medal for Anthologies - Military Writer's Society of America

"This collection is an excellent introduction to an emerging form of war reporting." - Booklist


Annals

November 2008
September 2008
July 2008
May 2008
April 2008
March 2008
February 2008
January 2008
December 2007
November 2007
October 2007
September 2007
June 2007
May 2007
April 2007
March 2007
February 2007
January 2007
December 2006
November 2006
October 2006
September 2006
August 2006
July 2006
June 2006
May 2006
April 2006
March 2006
February 2006
January 2006
December 2005
November 2005
October 2005
December 2004
November 2004
October 2004
September 2004
August 2004
July 2004
June 2004
February 2004
July 2003
June 2003
May 2003
April 2003
March 2003


Giving Credit

Powered by:
WordPress v. 2.3
Blog Design:
E.Webscapes
Hosted by:
Blogs About Hosting

Other

login
register


Meta

RSS
Comments RSS
WP


0.291 || Powered by WordPress